Long time no see. I just wanted to let you know that I have a new PC, but I haven't installed Photoshop on it yet. It's because I started college a week ago, I have to ride 3/4 times a week, and I have dance practice 3 times a week.... so I'm not too keen on having even more possible distractions from studying. I will install it eventually and finish the prize drawing for my last event, but it will take a long while and I sincerely apologize for that. So, so sorry guys. You deserve better than this, but yeah, I am a human failure. Life has been in my way so much lately, and not having a computer for 3 months didn't help either. Also, I doubt I will do any real art after that. Harpg art, personal art, I haven't drawn anything whatsoever. I'm not officially quitting dA and harpg yet, if I decide to do it, I will let you guys know ... but to be honest, I think it's just a formality at this point. Also, DNS dies with me .. well, it lives on in my head, but I will not sell/give away any of my horses or characters. It'll be a shame, because I have some wonderful youngsters that would deserve a decent upbringing (like a chimaera obertaurer
) and so many untold stories I still want to tell, but I don't want to force myself into drawing anymore .. yeah, if I draw it's all forced, as sad as it sounds. My inspiration died, and is now burried alongside motivation, which has been dead for a while already ... so yeah ... I don't know ... I might return ... I might not ... We'll see how this unfolds, but I am pessimistic. I will still check my inbox here and there and silently follow some of the amazing people on here who are still active. As for DNS ... as much as it pains me to admit this loudly, DNS is slowly shutting down. God, it really hurts when I put it out of my head and onto the screen...
Also, what the heck is with this core membership?! Holy sh*t dA, you suck.
I've also hit a brick wall recently in both riding and pole dancing. I wrote it all up here, then realized I don't want to bore you guys with useless explanations, so I deleted the text. I will just say that because of the lack of progress in both areas, I am considering quitting them both. Well, I am slightly more reluctant to quit pole dancing and most likely won't, but it still pisses me the hell off that I haven't made any progress whatsoever in 3 full months. Instead, my abilities drastically decreased. Like WTF?! What is this sh*t?! I should be doing handsprings by now, not struggling with continuous air inverts when I was able to do them perfectly 4 months ago. I can't seem to grasp any new elements no matter how many times I try, and no matter how much my instructor struggles to help me. My body is apparently standing in its own way now, which is ridiculous, because I wear a size 4. I already have all of the upper arm muscles toned and visible and it's still not enough?! What am I supposed to do, get ripped like Schwarzenegger? Apparently I will have to starve myself to a size 2 or something so I will have an easier time lifting myself up into the air. Not cool, Evy's body, not cool. I am disappointed in you. Shame, shame, shame. I'm prescribing a crazy diet to you, so you will know better than to stand in my way.
I guess what I was trying to say with the title of this journal, before I went on a rant was... do you guys have any tips on how to prevent yourself from just quitting everything when you encounter a lack of progress? Like what do you do when you just feel like throwing in the towel? I am good very perservering, but I have my limits, and I feel like they might be reached soon if things don't change.
On the only happy note ... college is nice so far, so at least I've got that going for me, which is nice.